Väter wollen nicht nur die Rolle des Versogers erfüllen.
Es gibt viele Väter, die mehr Zeit mit den Kindern verbringen möchten. Wie bei Frauen, die in ihrem Beruf weiterkommen möchten, fallen aber auch beim Mann die karrieremässig entscheidenden Jahre zwischen 30 und 40 just mit dem Zeitfenster zusammen, in dem eine Familie gegründet wird oder zuvor gegründet worden ist. Ist der Vater voll in den Beruf eingebunden, erlebt er die Entwicklungsschritte seiner Kinder nur lückenhaft mit und verpasst wertvolle Momente. Der Aufbau einer innigen Beziehung, wie die Mutter sie zu ihrem Baby oder Kleinkind hat, ist schwierig, wenn nicht unmöglich.
Dies ist ein Frustrationsfaktor für beide Partner: Er fühlt sich ausgeschlossen, sie erhält nicht die erwartete Entlastung, wenn er da ist, weil das Kind lieber bei ihr ist.
Während der „goldenen Jahre“ zwischen sechs und zwölf möchte der Vater etwas mit den Kindern unternehmen, und zwar nicht nur an den Wochenenden, die ohnehin meist mit notwendigen Besorgungen und Treffen mit Freunden oder Verwandten belegt sind, sondern an einem gewöhnlichen Mittwochnachmittag. Nur zu schnell gehen die „goldenen Jahre“ vorbei und vorbei ist die Zeit, in der die Kinder gern etwas mit den Eltern unternehmen.
Das 70% Unternehmen gibt Vätern die Möglichkeit, diese kostbaren Jahre mit den Kindern – und nicht erst mit den Enkelkindern – zu nutzen.
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1. Be willing to feel vulnerable and express your feelings. Emotional intimacy means being honest with your thougbhts and feelings, even when they're uncomfortable. Be willing to share your needs, hopes, and fears with your partner. While oening up can be scary, a good partner will be supportive and try to understand you better.
Being open about yourself can help you adn your partner learn from each other and support each other in a new and deeper way.
For example, tell your partner about your dream to become a pastry chef or get a graduate degree.
2. Build your trust together. Struggling with trust in a relationahip can lead to conflicts and insecurities, especially if you don't feel like you can be physicalyl and emotionally open with your partner. Prioritize honesty in your relationship. Practice saying what you meann and meaning what you say. Show that you can be there for your partner and noticd that they can be there for you, too. Respect each other's boundaries physically, emotionally, and socially.
For example, if your partner values privacy, don't share intimate details of your relationship with people who knhow them. If you agree to keep something private, keep it private.
3. Listen fully when your partner speaks. A solid partnership includes two people who not only hear each other, but listen to each other. Turn toward each while speaking. Put down your phones and switch off the television. Pay attention to wha your partner says in a non-judgmental way and give supportive feedback. You should also feel like your partner listens to you. You can build intimacy by knowing you can say what's on your heart and not feel criticized for your words.
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